As many of you know, I'm generally pretty revealing about what goes on in my personal life, you know, since I'm an egotistical teenage lesbian hoe-bag and all . . . So, I was wondering something. As a general rule, most of us have come to believe that all the users of NG are social misfits, pedo-bears, 40 year old virgins, or on the path to becoming one of the three. Naturally, you also know that you can't believe everything you see on the internet, or at least I'm assuming you do. But, getting to the point, I wanted to ask each and every one of you this question.

Are you a virgin? . . If not, when did you lose it and if you want to go into detail, who you lost it to/with.

And, since so many of you probably have no clue who I am and what I've done. I'll go ahead and answer the question myself.

Am I a virgin? . . Admittedly, no. What I lost it to is the sad part. Technically, I lost my virginity when I was nine . . to a shopping cart in a Walmart parking lot. I fell on it and busted the fuck out of my cherry . . I never wanted to sit down again, I swear . . . but, besides that, if you don't count cunticular-rape by Walmart buggy as grounds for losing your innocence in the most embarrassing way possible, I did have sex at some kid's birthday party when some jackass spiked all the soda. I can't remember who the poor fuck was. I was eleven, I think . . . or 13, idk . . Yes, I know, I was one hell of a promiscuous motherfucker, but at least I learned from my mistakes, right?

Okay, maybe not. About a year later, when I turned into a closet homo (see lestacular noob post #WTF) I got suckered into drinking way more than I could possibly be able to control myself under the influence of and ended up fucking my best friend, Haley, because her dead-beat boyfriend left her high and dry, if you know what I mean . . but anyway, so ultimately, I not only whored around with guys in my not-so-innocent childhood, but continued to fail with the fairer sex as well. Yes, I'm ranting about myself now.

Anyway, I hope that satisfies you sick bastards for a bit, since I'm in a pissy mood now . . I'm not sure why, but really, enjoy the reminiscence of my promiscuity while you can. With my terrible habits of alcohol binging and drug abuse (which I'm trying to stop doing) I might not be able to remember anything at all, eh?

Updated: 12/13/09 10:05 PM 3 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

You guys will not believe what kind of shit I have gotten myself into now. This is the absolute most insane thing I've ever done for a friend (besides fucking). Anyway, so this is how it all started. Sorry if I make typos, I'm really really tired from walking for two or three miles. I'll try to keep it coherent.

So anyways, I was at school, waiting for my ride as usual. I think it was four o'clock or something. Anyway, I'm saying that word a lot, I was with my best male friend, Cody Dorman, who I've known for like . . forever. So, it was late, and I was seriously beginning to doubt that I'd ever get home because it was late enough that the principal of the highschool and his daughter, Claire, left and locked the office (so I couldn't call home, like I said I wuld have) so that left Cody and I nowhere to go and nothing to do.

It was starting to get a little dark already, so we decided to start walking home. We got on the road and walked for a bit, about half a mile down the road until we were almost up to the next street. If you like googling places, I'm coming from Northeast Lauderdale Highschool in Meridian and taking a left off campus and going towards the big intersection past the housing complexes and shit. So, about halfway to the bridge, this black truck pulls up.

At first, we think it's Cody's mom, because she has pretty brown hair and always wears a red jacket, but when they stop and we get closer, we realize who it is. It was not infact, his mom, it was Madyson Lawson, or Mady for short, along with her boyfriend Ben.

"You want a ride?" Mady asked. I only remember it because she's fucking HOT.

Cody shook his head and said, "No thanks."

"Andrea?"

I shook my head.

"Where you headed?" she asked.

"My house." I said.

Her eyes got big . . "You sure you don't want a ride?"

"We're sure." Cody said.

She said something back, but I don't remember. Anyway, we started walking again when they left.

"I can't believe I just refused that offer." I said.

"Me either. Damnit!"

"If you would've said yes, I would've said, 'but under one conditon'"

He laughed and suggested something lewd and we talked about flying titties and stuff until we got to a service station, which we passed because I was broke and he was too. Then we walked around a dead possum, which I couldn't smell because I had mint gum . . until we got down the road and I spat it out, which was when my crazy step dad rolled up. He yelled at me to get in the car, like 'imma beat yo ass if you dont get in this car' or something, so I just kept walking, even though Cody told me not to. Then the jackass drove off like a maniac and we got to the intersection, where he did the same thing again. I just put my stuff in the car and ran to the intersection.

Finally, the old man gave up and went home, and we ran as fast as we could through the intersection and took a left at the next road, where we stared singing 'love and marriage' the song that was stuck in our heads all the way there and went back to the previous conversation we were having about how this was the longest time we'd spent together besides the time in band where we were sharing a cd player.

We took a bend and passed a trailerpark and nearly escaped death by truck. The mirror of the truck almost touched his arm! Then, when we were almost to the turn to my road, (he was walking me home and then going to his house) my stepdad showed up again. I screamed something akin to WTF and Cody finally got me to get in the car . . slowly, mind you. Then my stepdad offered him a lift too. I was surprised.

Cody got in and we started riding across town to his house. when we got there, i told him to give my last words to Jessica. we hugged, and he went home. To make matters worse on me, however, we got lost on the way back. I called my mom and found out that the police had been notified of my status as missing, and nearly flipped out (on the inside) . . but finally, I did make it home in one piece even if my legs hurt like fuck now. I still can't believe that I turned down Mady, the sweetest, non-innocent angel I've ever seen. I also can't believe she had Ben stop . . . but anyway, any advice before my mom comes home and kills me?

Updated: 11/19/09 8:06 PM 7 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Yay, I'm back to writing again! Hooray for being productive! . . . not. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this so far.

- - - - -

- Prologue -

Shimmering blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, straight 'A' student, some might say brilliant, and a cheerleader too; she even had a car. This girl had it all except for one thing: friends. Not just those fair-weather kinds that you come across in everyday life, but the real friends that you can hang with no matter what's going down in your hood. The only real friends she had were the Harry Potter books she read and re-read when she was all alone and no one was watching.

She was a sophomore, going to an average school, in an average city, in an even more average state. That school was North East High School, a run-down, ramshackle facility with even more run-down staff. This wasn't to say that it was a terrible institution, but it was practically falling apart at the seams. Some of the roofing was caving in, in fact.

So, you're probably wondering, why does this otherwise stunning girl have any friends? It could be that she just isn't cut out to be with the in crowd, as most cheerleaders and jocks tend to be, or it could be that she's just antisocial. One or the other, the simple fact is that highschool is hard on everyone, regardless of how long you've been wearing those grassy-green braces of yours.

This is the story of a would-be princess in an unforgiving world. Whether you choose to take any meaning from it or not is your choice. Her name is Katie, and she is beautiful, even in her flaws, if only someone would notice.

- Chapter One -

It was a sunny day, Friday, the same day that North East was having it's home-coming and peprallies, one for the highschool and another for the elementary. It was sixth period already, only thirty minutes or so before the cheerleaders, band, and football players would have to get their equipment and head to the 'game' gym, which was a considerable distance from most of the normal classrooms and hallways. In fact, the only ones near it were the band hall, which was conveniently connected to the gym, and Coach Truman's Technology Discovery, on the adjacent hallway, along with the ISS room, on the same hall.

Katie, being a cheerleader, and one of the ones with any work ethic at all, was charged with setting up the home-coming arch, flowers and whatnot. Of course, this meant that she had to go all the way to the cheerleading coach, Mrs. Clarke's room a good twenty minutes before everyone else did to pick up all the goodies and cart them off to the gym. It was a big job to do, but it still had to be done. Katie, followed by Alana and Sam, briskly walked through the cramped, gum encrusted breezeway that led to Mrs. Clarke's hallway, took a right, opened the door, and slipped in. Her room was the first door on the right, so getting to it and getting inside was no problem.

When the trio stepped into the classroom and glanced around for a moment, searching for Mrs. Clarke's head of messy brown hair and the crow-like nose they'd grown so used to being faced with, Alana and Sam realized that she wasn't present. Katie, oblivious to the fact that the other two were already going for their cheerleading gear, could feel eyes on her. Scanning the rather small room as she walked further into it, she managed to stub her toe on the desk of a freshman and practically fell onto the desk. The class roared with laughter before being screamed at by the desk's occupant, who threatened to have them all written up by the teacher, who just happened to be unaccounted for.

The students quietened themselves, but nevertheless still snickered; Katie didn't dare move, she was mortified, as the previously mentioned desk's occupant, a girl, asked, "You okay?"

Katie looked up, still splayed across the desk, not expecting that response to come from this particular girl. It was the same kid that Mrs. Clarke always talked about at cheerleading practice, the one that never payed attention to anything, was to smart for her own good, never studied, never cared about anything, was always getting into trouble, always had something to say, and was generally just a troublemaker and a bad influence on everyone, and an extraordinarily rebelious one at that. Her mouth hung slightly open. She couldn't remember the girl's name, but felt like she'd once been a friend of hers somewhere along the line. She furrowed her brow, trying to remember. This was exceptionally hard to do, given the fact that her head was six inches from being buried in a girl's chest.

Watching the girl in thought, the spike-haired teen quirked an eyebrow, opening her mouth, then shutting it again, deciding to wait on her response, all the while conscious of the eyes darting back and forth from her and Katie, the girl with the worst luck in the world.

She'd known of Katie's existence since sixth grade or so, when the girl had made Student Council President at the middle school; she'd made it twice in a row, in fact. Because of this, the teen had always thought ill of her, mainly because her only opponent in both elections was a slightly chubby girl, Ashley Sweringen. Of course, thanks to her brilliant speech, followed by a series of roars and name chanting from the crowd, Katie won by a landslide both of the years she was eligible, much to the detriment of the other poor girl, whom the boyish teen had voted for out of pity because her speech was so pathetic.

She'd always thought of Katie as an insane, pencil pushing whackjob that sucked up to get whatever she wanted, despite the fact that she was pretty and all. Through the years though, that stereotype that she'd developed of Katie started to wear away, bit by bit, as the things she heard and the things she saw for herself were slowly sorting themselves out in her head.

By the time Katie was just getting deep into thought, Mrs. Clarke had burst into the room, screeching, "Andrea, stop torturing my cheerleaders! What did you do to her?! Juvenile delinquent! That's it, go to ISS!" Before her tirade continued further, she was interrupted, fortunately.

"But I didn't do anything!" The spike-haired girl, Andrea protested.

Mrs. Clarke stopped reaching for a dicipline form and planted a hand on the hip of her bluejean skirt; she loved a good debate. "Oh really?" She huffed, "Well, care to let someone explain this?" She gestured to the people in the classroom.

Andrea shrugged and said, "Why not? They're all going to tell you the same exact thing."

"Okay then," the teacher said, pointing, "You, Alana, explain what this . . monstrosity is doing with one of YOU sprawled on its desk."

Alana, the shortest of the trio that had entered the room cleared her throat and brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face before speaking jerkily. Her answer was simple and inarticulate. "Um . . well, she kinda just fell over and . . yeah."

Mrs. Clarke glared at the girl, expecting her to elaborate. When she didn't, she moved on. "Well," she said, "If no one is going to tell the truth then I suppose I'm just going to have to write some people up then. I told you all, I'm not in the mood for games!"

"She's not joking," Sam said, shaking her head vigorously, her curly blonde ponytail slapping at her ears as she did so.

"Is this true class?" Mrs. Clarke asked, beginning to give in.

The class nodded out of fear, not wanting to anger the beast of an English teacher they were forced to have for their English I class.

"Very well then. Cheerleaders, get your things and head to the gym, and you, you go to your little band hall. I'm tired of putting up with you."

"Thank you!" Andrea said out of pure arrogance. She was eager to be out of that demon of a teacher's domain. She picked up her things that had been knocked on the floor and shoved them unceremoniously into her folder, shoving it into her black messenger bag and throwing it over her shoulder. She filed out after the cheerleaders, padding behind them softly in her polkadotted One Star hot-bottoms.

Katie lagged behind Alana and Sam, carrying a wreath and a few ribbons, as opposed to the heavy load that the other two had on their shoulders. The others carried halves of the home-coming arch, carrying it over their shoulder as if it were a sack of potatoes.

- TO BE CONTIUED

- - - - -

I'm not finished with this yet. School, curfews, and homework are hell. I rarely have much time to write, or finish anything that I start, if you'll notice. This is why. Leave me your comments!

Updated: 11/15/09 7:51 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!

B Forever! . . . Also, 69.

Updated: 08/22/09 12:07 PM 18 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

I realize that I haven't completed the story I made earlier, but I need a break from it. I promise, it will continue to be updated. As for what I'll be doing in the immediate future, I will be making you guys a new hentai game. The focus will be yuri, or shoujo-ai. If you guys have any suggestions for what you want me to put in, either link them here, or PM me. :)

EDIT:

Suggestions I've already gotten:

1. Something with Final Fantasy yuri
2. Lucky Star hentai (which believe it or not is a little on the scarce side)
3. Mario!
4. Try something for the ladies damnit!
5. More Naruto Hentai
6. Try Bleach or Full Metal Alchemist
7. Evangelion kicks ass!
8. Draw some hentai!
9. Take a screenshot or two from one of Zone Sama's submissions (with his permission ofc!)
10. Teen Titans and One Piece hentai plus everything else in a big gallery thing
11. Make different sections for different series with selections for what you would like to see (yuri, het, yaoi, all, etc.)

*EDIT 2*

This is probably going to be very extensive . . . I'd set the due date for release to about next month. Not very recent, but still not far off in the future. I'll be adding 99% of the suggestions, within reason, to the submission.

*EDIT 3*

People working with me on this flash are:

Danicos
*Sinskae

* - denotes that it must be confirmed

IF YOU WANT CO-AUTHORED, YOU CAN FIND SOME PICS FOR ME, OR ASSIST IN CREATING THE MENUS, QUESTIONS, OR OTHER ASPECTS OF THE GAME!

... or I could just co-author you for the hell of it. ^_^

*EDIT 4*

I'm working on an InoSaku fic on another site, so progress may slow down. I'm not going to be online for the 3rd and fourth of July, most likely. I'll try to be online for you guys though.

Many thanks to those of you that are fans of my work!

*EDIT 5*

My laptop charger is broke! Damnit! . . . Uh, I'll still try to work on the flash a bit more, but I can't really make any promises until I either repair the charger I was using, or get a new one. Hopefully, I can afford another one and get back to work.

Also, I love my neighbor so much right now. Thanks for letting me use your pc Joseph!

Updated: 07/30/09 8:11 AM 48 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Okay, this is a one shot that I made for a friend. I thought I'd post it here for giggles. Hope you guys like it!

It's in first person.

- - - - - - -

I woke up in the morning, some time around nine or ten o'clock. Feeling white light on my face, my eyes snapped open. Glancing around my room, I noted that nothing had changed since last night. Feeling no need to join the waking world, I pushed my head back down into my pillow, until I got a nasty surprise.

My mom burst into my room, annoying as ever, spewing nonsense. The only thing I managed to grasp was the section at the end, where she said, "Oh, and honey, your step father and I are going to be gone for the rest of today and tonight, so I've hired a babysitter for you! She'll be here in an hour. Play nice!" and she shut the door.

A babysitter? What? This is bullshit; I'm eleven. I don't need some retard watching over me to keep me from burning the house down. God, I hope it's not some old bitch. That would suck shit. I sighed. I was pissed. I went ahead and took my shower, getting dressed. Staring at the clock as I sat down behind the front door, I sighed. "That bitch was supposed to be here 12 fucking minutes ago. Where the fuck is she?" I was growing more and more impatient by the second.

No sooner than I had gotten the words out of my mouth, I heard a car pull up. I scrambled to get away from the door, hiding in the nearby wash room, waiting on her to enter the house. The door was unlocked, I knew, so her entry would not be barred. I heard the door rattle and swish open. Hugging the wall tightly, I peeked out from the corner.

"Hello? Is anybody home? . . . Hello?" the blonde said shakily, her shoulder length hair flapping around as she turned this way and that. The door slammed shut of it's own accord, startling her. "EEK!" She jumped and glanced around. "This house is creepy!"

"You haven't seen anything yet." I said in the deepest, manliest voice I could muster, managing to sound something akin to a porno-creep that had been banished to the basement for quite a while.

"Who are you?!" The blonde screamed in reply.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm . . . Um . . My name is Jill."

I silently padded around the corner and crept up behind her. "Hi Jill."

"Eek!" She screamed, and shoved me down. I hit the floor.

"What was that for? You're not a very good babysitter." I frowned, picking myself up.

"You scared me, you brat." She scowled.

"I wouldn't scare you if you weren't such a friggin' chicken." I glanced out the front door. "So you're my babysitter, eh? Stuck here, just like me. Your mom must've dropped you off. That would mean you're under 16. Right?"

"You know, I'm starting to hate you already."

"I can tell. I think I like it." I grinned. "This should be fun."

- - - - - - - - - - Later That Day - - - - - - - - - -

"Lazy shit!"

"Freckle Face!"

"Fucking retard!"

"Thunder cunt!"

"What did you just call me?!"

"I called you a thunder cunt. Can't you hear? Or are you just plain retarded? Must be the hair."

"You little shit! I'm going to kill you if you don't shut your little fucking mouth!" Jill screamed, standing in front of me. She was close enough that I could smell her breath every time she talked.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that. Wouldn't want to go to juvie now would we?"

"That's it!!" she charged me, pinning me against the wall and screaming wildly.

"A word of advice." I choked out, my 11 year old sense of humor nearly leaving me, from lack of oxygen to my brain.

"WHAT?!"

"When you get locked up . . . Don't drop the soap." I chuckled. She let me down, her face red with anger.

"You little bitch." She rammed me against the wall again, her face inches from mine, and it seemed to get closer with every word that passed between us. I was close enough that I could count every single little freckle by now.

I laughed to myself, anticipating what was going to happen next. "I thought you were going to 'fucking kill me.' Well?"

"Don't remind me." Her eyes flashed, her lips slowly coming closer to my own.

"And what if I want to die?" I asked, "You wouldn't give me the pleasure of killing myself? Anything to get away from you, hehe."

"You think you can just do whatever the hell you want, do you? Well I'll tell you what, you little fucking brat. You fucking can't, because you're a frigging loser and mmmphammph!"

Our lips met. I looked into her eyes, which were widened in shock, even more so when I palmed the back of her head. I pushed my tongue into her mouth forcing past her teeth, braces scraping my lips.

"Geek." I muttered between breaths.

"Mmph!" She pulled back, breathing hard. "Get off me you creep!"

"Hey, you're the one pinning me against the wall here."

"Um . . . oh." She jumped back.

"You know you liked it." I said triumphantly.

"You're gross."

I pushed past her. "Whatever, you want a coke?"

"Um, ok."

I opened the carport door and went to the fridge. Then I thought about those sleeping pills that I had left in my pocket. Hmm . . . If I put those in that coke, then I can just wait until she passes out and I can do whatever I want to her! . . . but that's rape . . . Eh, no matter, I can just tie her up and keep her drugged. She'll never know. hehehe . . . If only she knew what I was plotting, she would've never even gave it the chance.

I grabbed the coke and popped the top gently, taking the pills and opening them up, one by one, pouring them in the small opening in the top. I counted about seven or eight pills. That would be enough for three people ordinarily, but I assumed that the acid in the coke would dissolve the medicine and lessen its effect. After I was done, I popped the top back into place, making it look as normal as possible, and took another coke out, opening it, to make sure that I didn't confuse them.

I went back inside and handed her the contaminated drink, opening it for her and taking a swig of my own soda.

"Why are you being so nice now?" She looked at me, trying to figure out what was up.

"Oh, no reason. I just got tired of us fighting, and decided that I was going to try and make nice, since we're stuck with eachother for a whole day and a half . . . maybe more." I replied gingerly, hiding my malicious intent.

"Ok . . . This Coke tastes funny." She remarked. My heart nearly leapt into my throat. What would happen if she didn't drink it? Will it still work if she only gets a little of it in her system? What if she catches on to me? I thought of something to say as fast as I could.

"Yeah, they're kinda old, sorry." I said, as it was the only thing I could come up with. Thankfully, she bought it.

"Well, they're not that bad. I guess I'll drink it." she said, sighing and plopping down onto the couch.

I sighed with relief, thankful that she didn't notice. About fifteen minutes later, the effects of the sleeping pills were beginning to become apparent. Jill was already nodding off to sleep every few minutes, and it wouldn't be very long before she would be in her own little world, having happy time in dreamland.

"You tired?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah . . . I wanna . . I wanna go to bed, but I don't think I can get up." She said, voice weak and feeble.

"Need help?"

"Yeah."

"Kay, but if you pass out, I'm leaving you where you fell." I said, lying through my teeth. I already had formulated a little plan to get what I wanted. I was going to help her into bed, wait until she was out of it, and then break out the ropes, blindfolds, and gags that I had hidden about in my room.

I pulled her up from her seat and supported her as she walked to my bedroom, stumbling and tripping over her own feet the entire way. Damn, drug-rape is exausting, and we're not even in bed yet! I thought to myself, I'm not supposed to be the one who's tired, damnit! Why do my plans always fail some how or another?!

I sighed. How in the hell did I get this idea into my head anyway? If this doesn't work, I'm SO fucked. I carried her into my room, trying to remember where I had put all my gear as I rolled her onto my bed.

Soon, Jill was fast asleep in the luxurious purple plaid of my covers, giving me all the time I could ever have wanted to find what I needed. Taking one last glance at the slim form on the bottom bunk of my bed, the decorative beads and assorted bangles I had adorned it with waving back and forth with each breath she took.

"So cute." I mumbled to myself before I began rummaging through the drawers of my dresser. After a minute or so, I yanked out two sets of fluffy pink handcuffs triumphantly, grinning to myself. I put them on the girl and fastened them to the bed posts. "Now to find the rope." I whispered quietly, musing about what I would do to her once she was all tied up.

I practically ransacked the rest of my room, digging through all the drawers of my dresser, skimming through the closet, and throwing clothes left and right. Still, no rope. I did, however, find something I had been looking for. I saw a glinting object tucked between the mattresses of my bed. I grabbed it. It was a purple dildo. "Finally! So that's where it's been all this time!" I said.

"Where what's been?" I heard a groggy voice coming from behind me.

Shit! She woke up! I knew this was a bad idea! I said, "Oh, nothing!" attempting to hide the phallic object behind my back, hoping she didn't see it.

"Why can't I move my arms?" She asked, struggling with each word.

Well, I think I can still do this . . . I've got her right where I want her anyways. Wordlessly, I pocketed the dildo and sauntered over to her. Rape in my eyes, I snaked my way up the bed and crawled on top of her. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the dildo again, waving it in her face. I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "I'm going to fuck you."

Her eyes widened in shock. "You . . You what?" She stammered.

"You heard me. Fuck." I clarified.

"Don't!" She hissed, as I pressed into her, nipping at her neck.

"You know you like it." I ran my fingers up her shirt, grazing her belly.

"Nnn . . . Please, stop it." She moaned, face flushed and red.

I pulled out my pocketknife, cutting through her shirt, gazing at her curvy body as I went on to removing her gym shorts. "Strapless bra? Cute. Too bad it'll have to go."

Her reply was a quick, highpitched whimper, as I unhooked it and tossed it aside, leaving only her laced panties covering her. I decided to torture her some more before I got to the main event though. For a moment, I froze.

I looked back up at her face and nearly died. It was streaked and red with tears, dripping wet with sorrow and fear. "Please . . . Please, stop. I'm begging you." Jill whimpered, breaking through my wall of cunning and desire.

I forgot that I even existed, lost in her sea of despair. Then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks, the realization that I was the cause of that despair suddenly clicked into my brain. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. Don't cry damnit! Don't cry! You're supposed to be having your way with this chick! People who rape people aren't supposed to care about their victims feelings! Damnit! My concience told me, starting off yet another war between the good and evil in my mind.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I cried. In my fit of tears, I collapsed onto Jill, burying my head into her chest. "I'm so fucked up!" I sobbed, thrashing against her. "I'm so sorry!"

My chest heaved. I thought about all of the things I did. Why the fuck was I so stupid? I care too fucking much . . . Damnit, now she's going to hate me forever! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Still plagued with the image of Jill in such anguish, I cringed. I hated to make people feel pain. Pain that I myself had gone through. It was too much. I should've known I couldn't do it.

"Damnit," I cursed into her. You stupid antisocial freak! I thought.

I could feel her eyes on me, ashamed, I jumped back. She stared at me in confusion. Finally, she said, "What are you?"

I refused to answer the question. "Who are you to say?"

No answer.

"I have no one to live for, and nothing to leave here. I'm going to die anyway, so before I take my life with my own hands, tell me, What am I?" I asked, bitter tears flowing down my face.

Still no answer. I was beginning to wonder if she had died, when she spoke. "You are . . . perfect."

"What makes you say that?" I cocked an eyebrow, pulling out a razorblade and running my fingers along it.

"You're . . . sexy, I guess, for someone who tried to rape me." She managed.

"And you keep procrastinating, why? Don't you want me to die?" I asked, grazing the blade against my throat.

"Don't." She said, looking away from me and wincing.

"Why not?" I grinned, as blood began to drip from the small slit I had made. "Don't you like to see me in pain after all I've put you through?" I could feel my face growing darker, and my attitude even darker. Something was different. I didn't feel like going back, like my guilt was melting away, being replaced by malice.

"Don't! I hate blood!" She screamed, inching away from my essence as it dripped down upon her.

"Very well then, that's even better!" It wasn't what I'd hoped to say.

I took a finger and raked it across the bloody patch of scrapes I had created, the pain launching me into a euphoria of sorts. I took the blood and smeared over my lips, sniffing the red liquid. I felt so out of control, but it felt so good at the same time. "hehe . . ."

"Didn't you hear me! I hate blood!" Jill yelled, bucking.

I took her head in my hands, taken with instinct, and placed a wet kiss over her pink lips. "You're forgetting who's in charge here. And now that the little moral issue is over, it's back to business. You're mine." My face was being stretched into a twisted grin, despite my attempts to fight it.

Pathetic child, you cannot resist me. Try as you might, you will bend to my will. You've been under my influence all along

What the hell? Who are you?!

I'm the coalescence of all your sin and desire, in the form of one single being. That effectively makes me your dark side. There's nothing you can do to stop me. The only one who can help you now is God himself. Should've prayed more, bitch.

So you're possessing me?!

If you're that stupid, you don't deserve to be alive.

- - - - - - - - - Still not Done (will finish VERY SOON) - - - - - - - - -

Okay, I'm sorry for making such big delays, but I promise, I will keep trying to finish this thing, and if that's not good enough, you can all go fuck a cherry tailie. A cherry tailie is a bloodied, slightly phallic object with lots of sharp edges. I have no idea how me and my friends came up with the name. Anyway, this is going at about the rate of one paragraph every ten minutes. I have major writers block, I apologize.

Updated: 06/26/09 1:55 AM 24 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Well, I'm done with being inactive. I'm tired of falling behind. From now on, I'm devoting my online time to NG, and making stuff to put on here. Speaking of making stuff, I made a flash this morning; a hentai quiz, lol, so go play it! There's going to be more to come soon, when I get my scripts in order.

8 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

I'm writing another story for you guys. It's about a party that ends up going totally wrong (after you guys get some goodies, no worries) and ends up being completely catastrophic. It's weird, but you guys should enjoy it. It's been floating in my mind long enough for you to.

Disclaimer: This is my idea, no one owns it, lol
Genre: Romace/Horror/etc
Rating: idk, but it has sexual stuffs, so I guess NC-17 not like anyone gives a shit about rating anyway.
Characters: Me, Bailee, Haley, Kristy, Tori, Iliana, Bella, J.J, Austin, and some other people that will be mentioned later in the story but aren't all that important.
Stuff you should know: I ran out of ideas with the other two stories, but I'll probably keep them going after I get this one done. It'll probably just be a three or four shot anyways.

This is in THIRD PERSON and alternates between THIRD PERSON and THIRD PERSON OMNISCIENT

- - - - - - - - - -

Andrea rolled out of bed with an energetic bounce to her movement. It was going to be a very special day, she told herself, and if she was ever going to get ready for it, she would have to keep an air of gusto about her. Today, or rather, Tonight was Austin Spears's sweet sixteen, and all her friends would be going to the party, along with everyone in the next three towns over, most likely. It was going to be the party of the century, or so she thought. Thinking of who she would be seeing later on that night, she stripped out of her clothes, pausing to admire her hot body in the mirror.

Throwing the unwanted bundles to the ground after her advent of narcissism, she sprinted to the shower and turned on the water and the shower head. "Finally, I get to go to a party without having to be driven by my parents," Andrea said satisfactorily. Then she reminded herself that she'd be lucky if Haley, her best friend who was supposed to pick her up for the party, didn't end up getting them both killed, the way she drove. It was like a death wish, just getting in the car with her. She was pretty, but looks only got you so far in the driver's seat of a V8 Mustang GT.

Letting the warm water run over her, Andrea thought about Haley, and about what she was going to do to her when they were all alone at the party. She couldn't wait to see how she would contort her face after their first kiss, and who said that she would stop there? Hell, she'd probably bend her over the table and fuck her if Haley would let her . . . No, she'd do it anyway. She wanted her so damn bad, but all she ever got was cuddles and hugs out of her.

See, Haley liked guys, and that just got so far under Andrea's skin, she thought she might try to change her opinion. She was like a fourteen year old walking bag of date rape waiting to happen and a budding young lesbian at that. Haley had no idea what went on in her friends head when she was with her. So close, lips brushing against eachother, hips grinding, chests heaving. Andrea wanted her, but she had not even the slightest clue.

"What to wear, what to wear?" She asked herself, rifling through the drawers of her dresser and going through her closet frantically, finally settling on an outfit after about an hours worth of searching. She had woken up pretty late, it almost one o'clock in the evening now, and the party was in six hours.

After putting on her underclothes, Andrea shrugged into her black acidwash jeans and her shirt, which said 'GLORY' in some weird lettering, with skulls, roses, and Angel's wings on it. The outfit clung tight to her body, and she paused again to admire herself. She had developed a lot in the past few years, growing a fuller, rounder chest, among other things. Her ass, which up until a few years ago was just two little bony knobs, was now two nice rounded, fleshy mounds. Whereas she used to have the figure of a toothpick, she had finally began to develop that coveted hourglass-figure. She couldn't help but think of how sexy her form looked in that mirror, and what she was planning on doing to her friend with her hot body.

She chuckled to herself, "I can see my plan unfolding already." With a devious smile plastered on her face, she proceeded to get ready. By the time all was said and done, what with the occasional utterances of self-compliments and all, it was four o'clock, time to check her phone and laze about, waiting on Haley to come whisk her away in that black GT. 'I wonder if the seats in her car are fuck-proof,' she thought, listlessly reading her 24 new text messages. "I bet they are, seeing as how many guy's she's probably screwed in it." She murmured aloud.

After about 20 minutes of playing Call of Duty 5 and reading text messages, she decided to call Haley, anxious for her to arrive and to be in her company again. They hadn't been together in weeks, mainly because of school, and Andrea couldn't wait to talk to her again. She'd been able to keep from going insane with longing by obsessing over her and masturbating to her like crazy, but understandably, she was itching to get her hands on her for real, or atleast lay eyes on her.

She dialed the number, fingers twitching in anticipation. Holding the phone up to her ear, she waited eagerly for Haley to pick up the phone.

"BRRRP, BRRRP, BRRRP," the phone continued it's chorus for about ten seconds, until the phone was finally answered. Andrea's eyes lit up and she bit her lip.

"Hello?" Haley's voice came over the phone, sounding irritated and groggy.

"What's up, Haley? You ever going to come pick me up?" Andrea piped, unusually cheerily and excitedly radiating anxiety and expectant joy with each and every word.

"Oh snap!" Haley yelled, "I totally forgot about the party tonight!"

"Good thing I called you then. We still have two hours, so you can get ready and I can pick you up if I steal the car, you know, just to save time and stuff." Andrea said, clearly desperate to see her.

"Nah, don't worry about it, I just took my shower and I already picked out my clothes last night. I'll be there in about 45 minutes, kay?" Haley said, evidently putting on her outfit while she talked from all the shuffling that was going on in the background.

"Okay, but I was hoping that I would get another chance to drive after last week when I got to drive you home from the bar." Andrea giggled.

"Shut up, and that's why you don't get to drive this time, because that was embarrassing and - "

Andrea interrupted her, "and you shouldn't have been drinking in the first place," she said, cooly turning changing the subject from driving, to drinking.

"You were drinking too!"

"Yeah, but not like you were. Hell, you were wasted." Andrea laughed again, "but enough about that, we're not driving home tonight anyway."

"We're not?" Haley asked.

"What do you mean 'we're not?' Of course we aren't. Who wants to come home from a party and let your parents know how wasted you got while you could be partying all night long. You're starting to sound like me when I was nine. Sheesh."

"God, Andrea, don't go all lecture-y on me here, we're going to a party for chris-sake!"

"Well, whatever, just pick me up as soon as you can, it's fucking boring over here and my parents are coming home in like two hours. I don't wanna be here to catch hell about trashing the place, ok?"

"Okay, whatever. See you in about 45 minutes. Bye!" She hung up.

'Damn, didn't even give me a chance to say bye . . . bitch. Oh well, I'll pay her back for it later. Now I just have to wait for her to get here. What a challenge. I'll just play more COD5,' Andrea thought.

45 minutes later, Haley was at the house, as expected, beeping the horn a few times, she got out of the car and came to the door, knocked on it about four times, then pushed it open, going into the foyer of the massive house. Everything was in disarray, clothes, beer bottles, cups, dog fur, cum, you name it, was everywhere. She walked down the hall, going to Andrea's room, slipping on a bottle and falling. Picking herself up, she opened the door to see Andrea kicked back on her kingsize bed, clothes strewn about and bedding all over the place. Still playing the game, Andrea gave a nod of her head and a small wave to her before shooting some people.

"Man, you weren't lying when you said you trashed the house. I'd hate to be you the next time you come home!" Haley said, getting another nod from Andrea.

"Oh yes! I kicked your ass again! Damn Czechs, ha ha MOTHERFUCKERS! Who's laughing now?!" She randomly screamed when the little screen popped up, telling her she had won, then slumped back into her bed, splayed about it, not caring what image was forming in her friends mind. After all, she would probably like it anyway.

"Um, are you okay?" she asked.

"Oh, nah, I'm totally fucked up on cocaine! . . . Of course I'm ok, you retard. I just kicked those Czechs' asses!" She stretched triumphantly as Haley came closer and flopped down on the messy bed with her.

"I knew you were a drug user all along." Haley giggled, playfully poking Andrea's bellybutton.

Andrea poked her back, laughing at her friend's habit of playing with her like that. It added fluff to the onesided love relationship, so she couldn't have complained about it if she wanted to. She liked that sort of cuteness anyway. After a few minutes, they settled down a little more.

Andrea started, "So . . . . "

"So . . . " Haley sighed, licking her lips, unintentionally drawing Andrea's eyes to them. "Um . . . What are you staring at?"

"Oh, nothing!" she said.

"Right . . . You were staring at me, weren't you?"

"I was just spacing out, seriously." Andrea said, covering up for her moment of weakness. After all, she was only half lying. She was spacing out, but she was thinking about how those delicate lips of Haley's would look if they were beneath her own. 'Sexy, yes. Very sexy,' she thought.

"Ok, I believe you, and even if you were . . . We both know we like guys anyway, right?" she asked, thinking that it didn't kill her friend to even think about that issue.

Andrea didn't answer, but kept staring at Haley with those deep, white, overpowering eyes.

Haley's mouth hung slightly open. She knew what it meant when Andrea went quiet like that. It was either 'I don't wish to discuss this' or 'you know that I mean hell no.' She blinked. "Don't tell me you like girls!" she whispered harshly, as if the mention of it would doom both of them to an instantaneous death sentence.

Andrea answered this time, "Can't you understand me?"

"Yeah, I mean, I think so!" Haley gulped.

"Then you should know from that." Andrea said, "So, when are we going to leave? It's almost 6:30 now, and we need to be there at 7:00"

"Now." Haley answered, pulling her friend out of bed and leading her out to the car, being careful not to step in any bodily fluids on the floor of the foyer. "Get in."

"Okay, okay, I'm getting in already." She hopped in the car, popping in one of her Korn CD's to the stereo. Music proceeded to blast from the speakers as Haley cranked the car up. It was roughly 30 minutes before they reached the party.

As they got out of the car, Haley said, "Where'd you get that CD? It was kick-ass," as she fixed her hair in the side mirror.

"I dunno, it's my brother's" Andrea shrugged, leading Haley into the gigantic house Austin had, by the hand, drawing some attention from the people who they brushed by on their way, "Come on, your hair is fine."

When they were nearly at the door, waiting in line to be let into the party, Haley whispered in her ear, "Could you stop holding my hand? People are staring!"

"Oh, okay! My bad! I didn't even realize I was . . . um, yeah," Andrea said, barely audible over the music, as they stepped closer to the door, now fourth in line.

'What's gotten into her?' Haley thought to herself, 'Well, I'll know soon enough, 'cause she'll probably tell me later on tonight, when we start to settle down.' She hoped she'd know, atleast, as they stepped up to the guards at the door.

"Name please?" The burly bodyguard yelled over the music, which was permeating through the air, at this distance.

"Andrea Downing," Andrea said, winking to the man, for some weird reason. Perhaps it was a courtesy practiced in her old country. The black guy wiped his brow. Must've been pretty hot in that suit he was wearing.

"Downing . . . Ah, here it is! And this is your guest, Miss Haley Courtney, I presume?"

"Yes." Andrea answered.

"Very well, you may go in."

Andrea winked again, and the guard slipped her a bottle from his pocket as they entered. "What was that about?" Haley asked, confused.

"Ah, it was my little present to you. I'll give it to you later, for now, let's get this party started!" She screamed and joined the mini-mosh pit in front of the dj's improvised booth, tugging Haley into the crowd with her. There was an incessant humping and jumping motion to the entire group, so body contact was inevitable. Andrea watched, though, as several drunk guys were bumping into Haley repeatedly, and it wasn't accidental. 'Those are some puny boners there, looks like I need to rescue her, hehe' Andrea thought.

"Yo, Haley!" She cut over to her, and Haley got closer so she could hear better. "Lets go upstairs, looks like the king of needle dicks wants to do some sewing, and it's on your fabric, babe."

"Say what?"

"Never mind, just come upstairs with me!"

"Ok, that guy behind me was creeping me out anyway!" Haley yelled over the music.

Andrea sighed and took her upstairs, almost running over a blonde chick. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Andrea exclaimed and helped the girl up. "Ili? What the hell are you doing here? I've missed you so much!" She hugged her tightly.

"Andrea! I haven't seen you in years! I'm just here with a friend. So, who's your friend? She's cute!"

"This is Haley. Haley, this is Iliana." The two shook hands.

"Anyways, it's good seeing you again. I'll be downstairs. My boyfriend is waiting on me."

"Oh, okay, we'll be on the fifth floor, probably. Later!" Andrea yelled down at the blonde as she scrambled down the stairs.

Coming up to the next floor, it smelled of sex, beer, and cheap perfume already. It was only seconds before the raunchy mix hit their nostrils. It was overpowering, but the girls managed to keep their cool. "God, it smells up here. We should've never came up here." Haley complained.

"Better than that guy humping on you, wasn't it?"

"I guess, but this stinks." Haley said.

"You'll get used to it. Pretty soon all you'll be able to smell is the sex." Andrea laughed.

"Why is that?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Andrea's grin widened.

"You perv."

"What else would I be doing here, eh? 18 hours at a sweet sixteen party, and nothing to do with them but you know what. Flirt, drink, and fuck." Andrea said matter of factly.

"You'd think that I'd be the one saying that, wouldn't you." Haley replied.

"Actually, no. Not really. You're not as brash as I am."

"I see." Haley's nose was starting to get used to the stench, and she started to breathe more normally, as they went up flight after flight of stairs, music as loud as ever. "What floor are we going to?"

"The top."

"What floor is that?" she asked, looking expectantly at Andrea.

"Floor number five. Why do you ask?" She looked at Haley, who had an expectant look on her face.

"No reason, really. I just wanted to know." She said, shoving her hands in her pockets, then taking them out again and straightening her Aeropostale shirt while she was walking.

They walked all the way to the fifth floor and stepped out of the stairwell into the hallway. The hall was devoid of any signs of people. 'Perfect' Andrea thought, and smiled to herself.

"This place is bigger than I remembered last time." Andrea said.

Haley stared at the empty halls. "Why don't we just go back downstairs?"

"Nah, too crowded. You might pass out and get butt-fucked down there." Andrea replied nonchalantly, still leading Haley around. She finally stopped at the end of the hall, at the last room and opened the door. It was a big bedroom, with one bed, a plasma screen TV, a huge surrounding stereo system, a closet, and an adjacent bathroom, along with a porch and a large glass door. "This is what I wanted you to see." She opened the sliding glass door and the breeze came in it's absence.

Haley walked out onto the porch, followed by Andrea and rested her head on the railing. "This is a beautiful view." she said.

"I know an even better view than that." Andrea cocked an eyebrow.

"Where?"

"I won't say, it's for me to know, and your boyfriend to find out." She made a lewd gesture at her.

"You dirty bitch." Haley laughed.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Andrea pressed against her friend's body from behind, wrapping her hands around her waist.

"What do you think you're doing?" Haley asked, half seriously.

"Oh, nothing." she replied, slipping the bottle handed to her by the man at the door out of her pocket and popping the top off. It wasn't too much, just a nicely sized bottle of smirnoff. She backed up a step and took a tiny swig. "You want any?"

"Sure." she said, turning around and taking the bottle, drinking all but a few swallows of it. "How's that for some?" Haley added, grimmacing as it's fiery bite ripped it's way down my throat to my stomach.

"Eh, I really don't care. It was a freebie, and I didn't feel like getting more than a slight buzz. Good luck not passing out. I know you usually don't drink more than a few shots before you're tipsy." Andrea grinned, eyeing her.

"Hey, you don't have any room to talk!" Haley yelled.

"Well, how about I'll make you a bet. If you can walk for yourself by midnight, I'll do whatever you want, but if you're too drunk to, then you have to do whatever I want the next morning . . . and if you back out, you owe me a kiss." Andrea smirked.

"Fine, and if you back out, you owe me ten bucks." Haley imitated Andrea's smirk. If she was anywhere else at the time, she would've given a totally different reaction. The alchohol was already starting to affect her judgement a little.

"So, who do you think is going to win this little bet?" Andrea said.

"You. I feel drunk already." Haley admitted, flopping down on the bed.

"Why don't you back out of it then?" Andrea said, flopping down next to her lightly buzzed friend.

"Because you said I'd have to kiss you then." Haley said, yawning.

"Well, I was more joking, but you know, I never said who you had to kiss." Andrea turned to face her friend, looking between her and the curtains, which were flailing about in the wind.

"It's okay. I would choose you anyway. I have no clue what the fuck kinda diseases those other guys might have." Her speech began to slur more and more as she scooted closer to Andrea.

"You're right about that. Why do you think I stay the fuck away from them? I don't want any of that AIDs shit." Andrea laughed and wrapped her arm around Haley's waist and pulling her closer. "Still sure you don't want to back out? You never know what I might ask you to do if you didn't and you lost."

"Ok." Haley looked up into her eyes, her own eyes being wide hazel circles in the dim light.

Andrea leaned in, closing her eyes and opening her mouth to meet Haley's lips. Haley tasted like the smirnoff on her breath; full of bite, but sweet at the same time, and Andrea tasted like arousal; subtle, and light in its embrace . . . and candy, which was stuck in her teeth. Their tongues minged together as they ran their fingers along eachother's bodies, touching and tasting, coming back for more. After a final smooch, their lips parted, and they opened their eyes again, staring at each other once more.

"Damn, I didn't expect you to do that so willingly," Andrea said, breathing hard.

"I didn't expect me to either," Haley said, breathing equally hard.

They leaned in again, continuing where they left off.

- - - - Downstairs - - - -

"Hey, Bailee!" Tori yelled into her phone on the second floor of the building. Every fiber of her 13 year old body fidgeting with excitement.

"What?" An angry blonde screamed at her phone from the first floor. "I can't hear anything you say!"

"I'm on the second floor!" Tori yelled, ignoring that Bailee couldn't hear a word she said.

"Screw it, I'm coming up there looking for you." And she hung up.

Tori flipped her phone closed and slid down against the wall, listening to the sounds of grunting and moaning within and wishing she could get away from all the sex, beer, and cheap perfume. Bailee was a bitch, but she was the only person she could hang out with without being treated like an object or a piece of ass. She wasn't an outcast, far from it, but parties just weren't her thing. She only came because her friends did.

Finally, Bailee found her, and proceeded to bitch about how big of a crowd was downstairs.

"Let's just go up until we can't smell the people fucking here, ok?" Tori held her nose, "It really smells."

"You know you like it, but ok, lead the way." Bailee said. "I'm going to laugh when we walk in on some lesbo chicks up there or something like that."

"Bitch." Tori said.

"You're damn right."

They proceeded to go up the stairs.

- - - - Back in the Bed Room - - - -

Andrea had drank the last of the smirnoff and was now on top of Haley. "You're so hot," she mumbled as she kissed and sucked her neck and collarbone, trailing her fingers down her body. With each touch and caress, Haley moaned, running her fingers through Andrea's hair, pulling her closer.

"More" Haley begged, bucking and grinding against Andrea's thigh. She took off her shirt and threw it across the room, and un-buttoned her pants.

Andrea's ever present smirk grew even larger. "I want you so bad," she said, kissing her and removing her bra, moving on down her body.

- - - - 5th Floor - - - -

"Finally, I can't smell THAT anymore!" Tori said, relieved.

"So what? It's just boring as fuck up here." Bailee mused about her idea from earlier, alchohol lacing her breath.

"What do you mean so what? I'm going to the last room on this hall."

"Whatever."

Tori walked up to the door putting her ear to it. "Whatcha doin'?!" Bailee appeared besider her.

"Shh! There's people in there!"

"Ooh, sounds fun!" Bailee threw open the door before Tori could protest, revealing Haley and Andrea on the bed; Andrea between Haley's legs, licking and sucking furiously, while Haley moaned over and over, pulling her hair.

Both stopped and looked between eachother, and the two girls at the door.

"What the fuck?" Tori said, dazed and looking like she was about to heave, while Bailee laughed her ass off.

"What the fuck?" Andrea imitated. "Who the hell are you people?" she said, while Haley covered them up with the covers.

After Bailee finished her giggle fit, she answered, "I'm Bailee . . . And this . . This is Tori," which was followed by a chorus of 'hahahahahahaha's.

"Ok then." Andrea got up out of bed, half dressed, in her jeans and her bra.

"You guys are hilarious." Bailee howled.

"I'm glad you think so. Thanks a lot for ruining the mood." Andrea said, showing them out and closing the door so Haley could get dressed, pulling on her shirt, which was barely draped over her arm.

"I can't believe you're not embarrassed"

"Why would I be?"

"I dunno," Bailee said, as Tori stumbled into her.

"What are you guys doing up here?"

"I was just trying to get away from that smell." Tori said.

"Same here, then we came to that room and we got a little tipsy." Andrea made a lopsided face.

Then, from inside the room behind them, they heard a scream. "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Haley screamed.

"What?" All three girls burst into the room and out to the balcony, where Haley was standing and pointing.

"There's something BIG in the city! You can see it from here!" Haley screamed, still pointing at the city scene splayed below, where some gigantic godzilla like thing was lumbering around, spreading fireballs and sparks in it's wake. Its roars audible from miles away.

"What the fuck IS that?!" Andrea said. "I'm thinking we should go now. Far, far, FAR away from here."

"I'm with you on that" the other three agreed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, that's all I think I can write at the moment. Hope you enjoyed so far. It's almost 5 in the morning now

Updated: 05/28/09 4:36 AM 7 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Ok, taking another break from writing stories again. I wrote you guys some nice, heartfelt poems to read while I'm on hiatus, starving to death.

- - -

Tortuous Love, written for Samantha Pike

Oh, Love is a torturous thing
Thoughts
They fuse
You like them
But do they like you?
Beliefs to lies
Which one is right?
From your guilty pleasure
Do you delight

Should you tell them?
Could you tell them?
You want to tell them,
But you cannot
This dilemma
It leaves you distrought
Oh my dear Samantha,
Love is a tortuous thing

Do you know?
Are you sure?
Are their thoughts of your own reflection?
Are you their object of affection?
These questions,
so troublesome
You must struggle
Until the war is won

Feed the fire
The time is nigh
The question is
Are you right?
Will your love take flight?
You want to believe
To hope that their looks really do not deceive
But you truly do not know
Until your love grows
Oh, love is a troublesome thing[/i]

Eaten Up Inside - written for my emo side

Eaten up inside
Go away
Let me die

I never got what I wanted
I never got what I needed

What's on my mind?
I cannot say
I am insane
I like this game

I'm done being there for others
They have their pain
And so do I
Don't need the love of my brother
I don't know why
Don't want to be with one another
Feeling numb
So long
Oh God
It's all I know
Now I pray for all of them to go away
Let me die
I don't need their ways
Let me die
Eaten up inside
I'll die smiling
Let me go
Let me die
Frozen here in time

What's on my mind
Who can say why
It's not invention I'm beating
I cannot stop all this bleeding

As I dream maybe I'll fly away
Eaten up inside
Let me die
I never got what I wanted
I never got what I needed
I'll die smiling
Eaten up inside

Skittles - an ode to my companion

Look around you
Your world
It turns about you
Love lost
Friendships burned
Look to the past
Truths discerned
Turn away from them
Destroy it all
Hold nothing near to you
For from you, it will be stripped
The threads of your heart
Cut into pieces
No more remorse

See the light
It plays about you
Your darkness revealed
Stay with me my child
That your darkness be concealed
Your evil hidden from the world
No love lost
No friendships burned
For in truth, you had nothing at all
Stay with me my child
That I may build you a wall
Behind which you will hide your darkness
That you may not fall

Fall into Darkness
I am not who you think I am
You do not understand my dilemmas
Honestly, I do not give a damn
Look what you have taken from us
You stole my heart
Gave it away
Trampled on my soul
Look at what you have done to me
Look at me
I am a shell of what I used to be
I have fallen into darkness
My soul black as pitch
My heart a pool of cess

You are my reason for falling into darkness
My reason to hate
My sole weakness
My love, you have stolen my consciousness
You stole my logic with a kiss
My livelihood replaced by bliss

My heart is black
Tainted from your touch
I want you back
But I hate you so much
My soul is a crumpled letter in your hands
Ready to be written again
Ink laden and dusty
I fear we shall go at it again

You

You
I like so many things about you
It seems I don't know what to do
When I'm around you
I feel like I could fly
Like a bird
High in the sky
You are my heroin
My object of desire
My love

You are everything I've known I wanted
And everything I've ever wanted to know
How can you leave me like this
How can I survive alone?
Feels like I've lost everything I've known

We push the buttons down inside
We tear our hearts out
Then we fuck

Hey
I know
Feels like I've lost everthing I've known
Every time we fight it feels so wrong
I feel so enslaved by my pride
Can we be again?

We push the buttons far inside
We tear our hearts up
Then we fuck

Hey
I know
Feels like I've lost everything I've known
How can I survive alone
Without you?

Little Dead Girls
I see them
They come to me
I feel them in my head
Their stares boring through my skin
I see them
They're all dead

Their blood spattered bodies
Their tattered skin
It comes to me
Only in dreams

I hear them
They try to scream
Mournful whimpers rustling in the wind
They meet my ears
Making me wonder what might have been
I hear them
If only they could speak

I feel them
They reach right through me
Cold caresses
Unfeeling embraces
I feel them
Only in my dreams

I smell their blood
It pools around my body
I cannot sleep tonight
My life steeped in blood shed long ago

[An Untitled Rant] - Devoted to Haley's ignorance of how much I loved her (at first)

Damn it!
I don't get you at all!
What is it that makes this boy so fucking great?
All he is ever going to do is get you knocked up,
Then he's going to leave you all fucked up!
Why don't you understand?
I know love is blind
But is that worth this?
Is it worth leaving your family behind?
Worth leaving the people who love you?
Worth leaving ME?

I can't believe you
You betrayed me
Now I don't know what I'm going to do
You stupid fuck!
Why can't you love me?!
I've waited for so long, just to hold you
To do anything with you,
and you don't even care
I just want to die!
Why?
Why do you hate me?
Don't leave me
I don't want to be like this
I love you,
I truly do
Why can't you just love me like I love you
Why can't we even talk to eachother
We're supposed to love one another
But all you care about is this dude
This guy who's only going to cause you trouble
This guy who I despise for being so lucky
I keep trying to tell you, he's not good for you
But you never listen
So fuck off and good-bye to both of you
Because no matter what I do
I'll always love you
And you'll never see the same way I do

I want to die

I want to die
I want to feel the life slipping out of me
I want to be a lifeless boat in a sea of my own blood
I want to go where any dead man could
I want to drown in an ocean of red
I want to see how it is on the other side
I want to die

Weirdo

I know I'm a weirdo
You don't have to say it
I've always been strange
There's no denying it
I've always been derranged

I like it when they talk about me
It tells me that they know I'm there
I like it how they always bleed
It pleases me when they're scared
I like it when they see me as an enemy
It lets me know they fear me
Because I'm always the enemy of their morality

Screaming, they dance around my head
Hoping they'll make me end up dead
Here I come again
Silence, it goes away
Patience, oh really should I stay
Feeling it go on
What should I say
Here, I fuck up again
But I always win
Here I come again

Only You

Only you can crumple me up like this
Only you can cause me to waste away
Only you can hurt me like this
Only you can crush me in this way

Only you, because you are the one I love
Only you, because you are the one I want to hold
Only you, because you are the one sent from above
Only you, because you are the one I behold

Only you are the one I idolize
Only you are the one I want to be with
Only you are the one I need to keep me alive
Only you are the one I cannot despise

Only you are with him
Only you are with that user
Only you are the girl he throws away
Only you are the girl always comes back to him

Only you are the one he impregnates and leaves unsupported
Only you are the one who cries when he desserts you
Only you are the one who never reports it
Only you are the one who supports him

Only you are the girl who is his slave
Only you are the one who is stupid and naive
Only you are the one who ignores my advice
Only you are the one who doesn't know how to stay alive

Only you
Haley

Updated: 05/23/09 9:10 PM 1 comment | Log in to comment! | Share this!

Okay, I'm sorry that I really haven't been online in a long time, but I've been having exams and partying and stuff lately. Anyway, here's another chapter, you guys deserve it after waiting this long, and as for the story that I was writing before this one, I think I'll have to discontinue it because, well, me and Ruth kinda called it quits for now.

Um, well, here goes nothing!

- - - - - That night - - - - -

"Oh my God, you're such a whore!" Bailee screamed. I winced as pangs of guilt began setting in. "I trusted you! I told you how I felt and you turned around and shoved it up my ass! How could you do this to me? I hate you!"

I sighed, "Come on Bailee, you know I didn't mean it." I looked at the floor, knowing that it was going to be a long night. I let out another frustrated sigh and ran my fingers through my hair, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me.

"How can you say that when you were half naked, making out with some random chick like that?!" She glared at me with icy blue eyes, scrunching up her face as if I had taken her heart and stomped it to bits. Now I stared up at the sky listlessly, it's clouded canvas a kaleidoscope of muted colors; offering little comfort for me.

"Look, she asked me to, and you know how I get once you put ideas into my head like that." I couldn't bring myself to look at her at the moment.

"Like I care, all I know is that you're a no good, backstabbing whore!" Her words stabbed at my core. I fought back the urge to break down and cry.

I said, pausing momentarily and choking up a few times, "Okay, look, I've apologized to you thousands of times tonight. I admit it, I was really stupid to do what I did, but I can't take it back. What's done is done." I looked into those eyes, which were now red and puffy from tears.

She turned away from me and started blotting away her tears, covering her face with her hands as a never ending stream began flowing from her cheeks, only to cascade down onto the shirt she wore. I walked over to where she was standing, encircling her in my arms. She did the same, resting her head in the crook of my neck. After a few minutes, she lifted her head up, staring into me.

I glanced at her lips, which were parted slightly, lightly quivering. Before I could even think to do anything else, I leaned in, eyes closed, and kissed her. It was a short kiss, but it evoked something in me that made me shiver. Our lips parted, and she looked at me with wide eyes, blinking, expectant.

"That felt good." I said breathlessly.

A puzzled look formed on her face. "Why'd you do that?"

"I um . . . I guess I thought it be a nice change of subject." I glanced around, hoping she wasn't still angry with me.

She sighed.

"Okay, I admit it. I like you."

"How much? Do you just like me a little or do you like me a lot?" Her surprise turned to playful enthusiasm.

"I really really like you." I giggled a little.

"Like how much do you really really like me?"

"I like you more than anything in the world, even when you're mad at me."

"You promise?" She asked, her eyes twinkling with excitement in the light of the moon.

"Promise." I closed my eyes and leaned in again, our lips meeting again, pressing lightly together. Under the light of a full moon such as the one out that night, I imagine that for anyone who may have been watching, it probably appeared to be something out of a fairy tale. Nevertheless, the fire I felt inside was burning hotter than ever. I was in love, not just infatuated, like how I felt when I was with Haley or other girls; a deep longing stirred within me. I thought, 'Well, hopefully, this won't get too complicated.' Our lips parted once more. I regretted that I hadn't made it last longer, but it was gettin a bit late and I felt like sleeping.

We went back to the little shack out back and ventured inside. It was dark, and we heard shuffling from the back. Bailee padded inside after me and shut the door lightly, listening intently. "Sounds like somebody's in there gettin' busy." I muttered.

I walked into the next room, being careful not to be loud. I peered around the doorway, grinning. In the moonlight, I saw Haley and Iliana, but contrary to what I had expected, they weren't actually screwing. 'Aww,' I cooed mentally. I flicked on the light.

"Eek!" Haley yelped.

"Gotcha!" I grinned popping out from behind the doorframe. Bailee followed suit, laughing at their expressions. They had been wrestling, apparently.

Feeling a wave of energy surging through me, I leapt onto the bed, pushing Iliana off of Haley and crawling on top of her. Haley giggled, "That's what you get!" She got up and practically threw Bailee onto the bed, pinning her down.

Bailee shrieked, "Hey, that tickles!" as Haley blew rasberries on her belly.

(if you don't know what blowing a rasberry is, look it up)

"That's the point." Haley giggled.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" Iliana asked, and I snapped back to reality.

"Um, nothing. Now where was I?" I flashed a devilish smile and stripped her shirt off, deciding to steal Haley's idea, however, I added my own flair to it. Instead of rasberry blowing, I lowered myself down and started to suck and lick at her abdomen. She bucked and gave a small coo. "It's sure easy to get you all riled up. . . heheh." Keeping in mind what happened between Bailee and I, I didn't go any lower than her hip bones. Suddenly I stopped and rolled off of her.

"Why'd you stop?" She asked, a slight frown on her face.

"That's all you get for free. How else am I supposed to make any money?" I smiled at her confused reaction, "Just kidding; it's your turn, silly."

So after about an hour and a half of screwing around, we settled down, Iliana and Haley on one side, and Bailee and I on the other. Just before we went to sleep, we shared one last kiss. Short, but enough to keep her on my mind for the remainder of the night.

- - - - -

G'nite guys

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